Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: From Textbook Answer to Deeply Rooted Truth

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” –Psalm 139

This verse is prominent in writing and discussions about a woman’s worth. Many women know this verse by heart. Some are truly comforted by the truth it reveals. But for me, I didn’t exactly know what “fearfully” and “wonderfully” meant. I knew this was the “textbook” answer to my questions about my worth, but what is it those words so readily retrievable in my mind actually mean? How can they affect the way I live and view myself?

With this combination of curiosity, confusion, and potential comfort, I decided to look into the meaning and truth of these words.

I do believe we have a Maker. Though I have questioned this in the past, the complexity of human life, to me, is beyond the capabilities of chance. So I know I was made. But what is this “fearfully” and “wonderfully” business?

Here’s what I have found in the dictionary and my heart as I explored and expressed this through art:

Fearfully. I always thought fear was a negative thing. Scared. Frightened. Afraid. Timid. Anxious. But an alternate definition of fearful is this: “full of awe or reverence.” Not only are we to fear the Lord, but when He made us, He was (and is!) full of awe and reverence for us. He admires His work in us. This is amazing to me. We were created with heartfelt interest and respect. The Lord has a lot on His plate, but He still takes interest in us!

Wonderfully. Now this one has a positive connotation. But what exactly does it mean beyond really good? What I found is this: We were created as unique, marvelous, and set apart individuals. We are not mass-produced. Every detail of us is planned. We are complex, yet complete.

Here are my final thoughts. We are known and loved. We weren’t created and then forgotten. We have a Maker who takes continual interest in us. We were created to give praise, honor, and worship to Him.

Although I need a constant reminder of these words and their meanings, they are no longer just a textbook answer, but a solid truth in my life.

This personally created visual reminder hangs on my wall, right next to this gem, sent to me by Wonderfully Made with the purchase of a book.

What does “fearfully and wonderfully made” mean to you? Are there any truths that you want to look into more deeply?

Untangling the Knot of Perfectionsim

I am not sure who reads this blog or who can relate. But I am a big perfectionist. Pretty much anyone who knows me knows that. But it’s also something I am trying to change. While perfection sometimes has a positive connotation, perfectionism can become deeply rooted in the way one thinks and lives, and causes them to strive to meet impossibly high standards- usually self imposed. As we know, perfection is unattainable, so as standards aren’t met, they continue to strive, and grow increasingly frustrated.

I write this in the third person but it is something that rings deeply true for me.

The past few weeks have been filled with a new job, starting a summer class, beginning my senior honors project, and realizing that graduation is fast approaching. This, of course means scary decisions about grad school, careers, and life. And as fear taps my shoulder, the perfectionist response is to try harder. Strive more.

This makes me think of tangled jewelry: tightly wound, knotted chains. That might seem random but bear with me… I picture a mess like this:

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Or this...

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I think it is safe to say that most women (and maybe men, to avoid stereotypes!) have encountered a tangled chain or two in their life. Usually when you are in a hurry, of course.

Trying to untangle the chains sometimes leads to pulling tighter- because the harder you work at the “problem” the faster it will be solved. Right? In this case, wrong. Pulling on the chains makes it worse, tightens the knot, and increases the tangle.  When you let the chains relax and work on one section at a time, the knot loosens. The necklace comes free.

I am beginning to see and believe that striving doesn’t fix the problem at all. It just makes it worse. I’m not saying it’s bad to have goals and expectations for yourself. I think they are somewhat essential.  But it is also essential to make sure they are reasonable. Are the expectations driven by what you really value or are they driven by habit?

To my fellow perfectionists, when your world starts to feel chaotic, act opposite to the tendency to try harder and strive higher. Relax, work on small areas at a time. Loosen the knot; don’t make it worse.

Now, some other advice I am trying to embrace:

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Can you relate to any of this? Do you believe that a problem can be solved by actually trying less?

My New To-Do List

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 I’m a big fan of TO-DO Lists. Crossing things off is so satisfying. I like feeling productive. I like having a clear goal. But typically my To Do List looks something like this:

1.  Read for class
2.  Go grocery shopping
3.  Put laundry away
4.  Answer email
5.  Take out my trash
6.  Get gas for my car
7.  Write a paper

All these things are necessary. Yes it is satisfying to have clean laundry and get that homework assignment done. To have an uncluttered inbox and an uncluttered room. But as I read Romans 12 this morning, a new To-Do List popped out at me. A list of things with so much more eternal value. A list that furthers God’s kingdom and builds up those around me. So what is on my new To-Do List? Here it is: 

1. To genuinely and whole-heartedly love. My God and everyone He has brought into my life. To build relationships and show honor and respect to everyone around me. –Romans 12:9-10
2.  Seek the good. Look for the good in everyday. Hold onto that good. –Romans 12:9
3. Continuously fuel yourself and be enthusiastic about serving God. Always be ready to serve Him by continuously fueling yourself with the Spirit. This might also include resting in His presence to recharge when necessary. –Romans 12:11
4.  Rejoice in hope. Be cheerful and thankful that Jesus is who He says He is and that His promises will come true. –Romans 12:12
5. Be patient in tribulation. Try not to get discouraged when the going gets tough. Stay motivated. Stay determined. Keep moving forward. –Romans 12:12
6. Be constant in prayer. Pray for yourself. For others. For the world. Offer prayers of thanksgiving, as well as prayers of sorrow and need. And then, don’t forget to listen. Don’t forget to be patient (see #4), and don’t forget to have hope (see #3). –Romans 12:12
7. Help those in need and share the gifts you have been given. Get creative in the ways that you help; God gave us each unique gifts. –Romans 12:13
8. Show empathy and give everyone a chance. Live at peace with one another, not holding grudges and not judging each other. –Romans 12:15-19
9. Be kind, even to those who hurt you. –Romans 12:14, 20

God Will Hold Them: A New Way to Pray

We grow close to people through conversation. We grow close to them by spending time with them. Building a relationship takes time and effort to maintain. Our relationship with God is no different. We need communication with Him. We need to spend time with Him.

Because of this, I recognize the importance of prayer.  But often I feel like I just don't know how to pray, how to form my worries and worship into words. I want to pray for others. I want to pray for the concerns in my heart, but sometimes I don't know what to pray for, what to ask for, what they need. Lately, I have been trying something new when praying for others. Rather than stumbling over words, trying to decipher what they need, and sometimes giving up the prayer all together, I am picturing them in God's hand. It's a powerful picture. God literally is holding them. Holding us.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

-Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

He is holding me and He is holding the one I wish to pray for. I can release my concerns knowing that they are resting in the hands of the One who controls all things. I don't have to ask for anything, except that God continue to hold them.

Images via Pinterest

God is Not my Business Partner

Grace has never been easy for me to accept. It’s a hard concept for me to grasp in this business focused, achievement-oriented world. I think the reason grace is hard to accept is because it doesn’t make sense. A phrase that sticks out from high school economics class is this: “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” There are always hidden costs and fees. Always fine print. When something seems too good to be true, we ask, “What’s the catch?” It is hard for us to believe that we can receive grace without any hidden responsibilities for us to fulfill. It’s hard to believe that there is no “catch.”

I have been reading the book of Romans in The Message lately and it explained the concept of grace and God’s promises in an interesting way. In Romans 4, God’s promises are contrasted with a business contract.

“If those who get what God gives them only by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract. That’s not a holy promise; that’s a business deal.” –Romans 4:14

Thinking about the difference of a contract and a promise, I looked up the definitions and here is what I found:

“Contract: an agreement between two or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified.”

“Promise: a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., by one”

Interesting. Am I treating God too much like a business partner rather than my Holy Father? Am I relying too much on myself to earn something that cannot be earned?

Two things stand out to me in those definitions. First, a contract is “between two or more parties.” If God had offered us a business deal, a contract, it would be between the two of us. It would depend on me and God. I would have to hold up my end of the deal. But a promise is made “by one.” Because God has offered us a promise, it depends entirely on Him, not us. Secondly, the definition of a promise emphasizes that something will happen. Not might. Will. It is something we can count on.

The Message goes on to point out that a business deal has lots of fine print. This may be what makes us cautious. We are used to fine print. To details we must obey. With God’s promise, there is no fine print.

I will leave you with this, something I am trying to remember: “…But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise- and God’s promise at that- you can’t break it. That is why the fulfillment of God’s promise depends entirely on trusting God and His way, and then simply embracing Him and what He does.” –Romans 4:16

The Joy Dare: Giving Thanks When it is Hard to Do

I’ve heard about the concept of a Gratitude Journal for a while now. Being aware of and thankful for the little things in my life, writing them down at night, falling asleep in a state of gratitude. It’s always sounded like a good idea. But I have never really done it for more than a few days. Yesterday, I found Anne Voskamp’s Joy Dare and decided to give it a try. She cites many benefits of daily gratitude and gives prompts for each day- gratitude categories. Most people try to start these things on January 1, at the beginning of the year or at the beginning of a new chapter in their life. But I’m starting on a random day. March 4.

Yesterday’s Prompt was: “3 Gifts Hard to Give Thanks For…” I found this prompt sort of, well, hard. Through this Joy Dare, I do not want to simply give thanks for the normal stuff I would give thanks for… my house, my family and friends, food on the table, and a car to drive. I am grateful for all those things… But if I am going to live a life of gratitude, in a constant state of gratitude, then I am going to have to dive below the surface. This prompt was actually a great one to start on, sending me deep below the surface. It is preparing me to give thanks even when things don’t go my way, even when it seems like there is nothing to be thankful for.

I particularly love that Anne Voskamp says “Joy is a function of gratitude.” How true! It is easy to give thanks when we are happy. Sometimes we wait until we are happy to give thanks. But maybe it works the other way around. I think Anne Voskamp is saying that the more we give thanks, the more joy we will experience and I am willing to give this a try!

So many places in the Bible, it tells us to be thankful and that we always have something to be thankful about. Psalm 118:24 tells us that we should be thankful for the day itself and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says to give thanks in all circumstances, because God knows what He is doing! James 1:17 tells us that everything good comes from God.

So here’s my first attempt at The Joy Dare. 3 Gifts Hard to Give Thanks For-

1. Homework: It means I am learning and have educational opportunities.

2. My Dead Car Battery: It gave me the experience of dealing with a broken down car, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while on the campus bus, I got to see my dad in the middle of the week, and it forced me to cancel a few things and slow down my life.

3. The Unknown: This one really gives me trouble! But the existence of the unknown gives me the opportunity to trust God more fully.

I also made myself and my roommate “Joy Jars.”

I made them out of clear mason jars and cut up colorful scraps of paper with the intention that the jar will soon become filled with happy written memories and things we are thankful for. The empty jar will soon be filled with color, just as gratitude and joy add color to our lives.

The Freedom of Enoughness

So many people (including myself) are constantly searching for something to tell them that they are enough. We want to be able to say:

I am good enough.

I am strong enough.

I am smart enough.

I am rich enough.

I am productive enough.

I am organized enough.

I am interesting enough.

I am funny enough.

I am pretty enough.

I am kind enough.

I am caring enough.

We want to know that we are worth something in this world. We want to know that we measure up.

But what if we removed those middle words. What if we simply said:

I have lived my life always striving to be more, to do more. One day I looked over at a friend’s paper. She was doodling and I saw this simple phrase. It profoundly impacted me. It was something I had never heard or considered before. It was freeing. When we remove the extra words, our worth lies simply in who we are instead of what we do, create, or produce. It is separate from what we say and how we act.

I’m not saying that those things are never important. All I am saying is that they aren’t what determine our value and worth. In fact, some of them may be a byproduct of realizing we have worth. When we know that we are worthwhile people apart from what we do, we are free to act out of love and kindness instead of acting in ways that we think will prove our worth.

I also recently heard the word “enoughness” from Emily P. Freeman. (I recommend her book Grace for the Good Girl to anyone who has struggled with trying to be good enough!) That word enoughness is one I am trying to keep in my mind and heart. It brings me peace. It is freeing.

I’d like to say that I am free from striving, that I live by these words everyday and never stress about measuring up. But that’s not true. As a college student, I am still surrounded with grades, exams, and trying to make it in the professional world. In finding out who I am, what I can contribute, and in making a career for myself. But I am starting to allow myself to rest, a few moments at a time, in the peaceful thought that I am enough. Take a break from striving and working, a break from trying to prove yourself, and think about the fact that God created you. He made the choice not only to create you, but also to plan out all of your days. And when I really think about it, how can I feel like I do not have worth when God thought I was worth the life of His Son?

It’s an amazing fact that I am trying to rest in. And I hope you will, too.